Since acquiring my two little tortoises, Dandelion and Baxter, my life has become quite weed-oriented. Not the kind of weed you might find in a student’s sock drawer, but the kinds that grow by the roadside and are the bane of those who like to garden.
Not just any weeds though, these have to be weeds that are safe to eat, and that haven’t been sprayed with any chemicals. I do like to aim for those that have not been trodden on or sprayed with dog piss, too.
So quite regularly, I traipse down to my favourite weed patch, behind Withington Hospital. There is a beautiful overgrown patch, full of dandelions and plantain and red clover, which my torts love. Once you own a tortoise, you’ll never look at weeds the same way again. I can’t walk past a patch of grass without eyeballing it in hope of some luscious looking dandy leaves. I practically did a victory dance when I found my first red clover patch.
It can be somewhat of a chore at times, especially when it’s chucking it down with rain and passers by are shooting strange glances your way as you wade through tall weeds, clutching a carrier bag. But there are little torty mouths that need feeding, so what must be done, must be done.
A few weeks ago, to try and cut down on my weed-picking trips, and to ensure I wasn’t picking anything sprayed with anything nasty, I ordered some mixed weed seeds and plug plants. They were great, but I think I have the touch of death. All of my plug plants died, apart from my dandelions, which seem to be doing ok, but I wouldn’t say they were thriving. These are weeds for god’s sake! They will grow anywhere, against all the odds, they are survivors. But they won’t grow in my pot on my windowsill.
It’s a massive pot too, so they’ve got lots of room. I nearly broke my back carrying the compost and pots home from the DIY shop, and that was after an embarrassing misunderstanding with the shop assistant. I think after I asked him for ’soil’ it became clear that I am not the kind of person who usually tries to grow things, and he asked what I was going to grow. A minute later and I realised we’d had a bit of a snafu, but before I left the shop I think he was convinced enough that I wasn’t growing anything illegal.
A few weeks on, I have some feeble dandelions, and a couple of promising looking thistle-type-things, but a torty banquet it ain’t.
Weeds: Nom
What kind of tortoises do you have?
Horsfields
Never heard of them. I have a sulcata.